Today I’m thinking about belonging. I’m one of those – I have this insatiable need to belong. I guess it’s a longing for security. And the funny thing about me is that I am in this strange period in my life where I don’t belong in the ways that matter most to me. I don’t belong to a husband, or his family anymore, sometimes when I’m around my married friends (which accounts for 95% of my relationships) I feel as if I don’t belong, at church I’m in the minority, and the list goes on and on. I also live in a city where I don’t feel at home. I’m sure you get the drift here. This has been a struggle for me.
Today while I was sitting on my porch reading, I ran across some scriptures that spoke to my heart.
John 15:19 “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”
John 14:2 “In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.”
Revelation 2:17 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.”
I guess the truth is I’m not meant to belong here. Even if all the areas that I long for connection were fulfilled, I would still long for something. Only in God’s presence will I feel like I totally belong. That’s comforting to me. He’s working on my room right now – wanting to make sure that it’s perfect for me. And, when I get there, he’s going to give me a stone with a new name…and only He and I will know it. I belong to Him, and Him only. I’m actually quite happy overall. I get overwhelmed and lonely (it’s that belonging thing), but one day I will be completely at home, completely satisfied and I will be where I’ve always longed to be.