One of my favorite authors is Randy Alcorn. I fell more deeply in love with God and his plan for the world and the new earth after reading "Heaven", a book that Alcorn wrote. He has also written a couple of fictional books, and since I loved his nonfiction so much, I decided to give one of his books, Safely Home, a try. When I sit down to read a book, I hope to fall in love with the characters, laugh out loud, maybe shed a tear, and generally be entertained. I don’t expect a work of fiction to change the way I think or feel about something as vital as my faith or how I pray. This book changed both my faith as well as how and what I pray for.
The book centers on two main characters and the relationship that they have with God and each other. Most of the story takes place in China as we see the unwavering faith of the Chinese Christians. Their fierce devotion to one another, to the Bible and to spreading the gospel is amazing. I won’t tell you anymore of the story because I don’t want to ruin it for you. The book, though fiction, is based on actual events that have happened to Chinese Christians living today and goes into detail of their amazing commitment to the Faith.
This book changed the way I pray. A big boast for a fictional story I know, but it’s true. I felt so moved by what the Chinese Christians go through and I sat there wondering if I could do the same thing. Could I wake up each day and ask myself, “Is this the day I will die for my faith”? Would I be willing to walk to church several miles in the middle of the night so that I could meet in a secret house church of believers? Do I love the Bible so much that f I was held prisoner I would survive only by meditating on the verses that I had memorized. I would love to say yes, and I hope I could, but I don’t know because I’m not in that position. But what I do know is that the Christians who are persecuted in various parts of the world, this very day, are desperate for a relationship with God. Brothers and sisters in the faith have faced death in 2009, because they refused to compromise their love for Jesus.
Safely Home has made me so much more aware of how fortunate I am to live in a free country, but painfully aware that I take that freedom for granted. Now when I pray I am asking God to give strength to the Christians who, that very day, are being tortured or perhaps even killed. When I get to heaven I long to meet some of the men and women who I’ve prayed for, the ones who perhaps died because they spoke out for my Lord.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Understanding The Prize
Did you ever wonder how Jesus was able to remain sinless? He was tempted like us in every way (“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.” Heb 4:15). He endured scorn, loneliness, the burden of stress, and the shame and humiliation of all of our collective sin…yet remained perfect. I’ve been thinking about this lately. I know the answer to this and it’s so basic that I wonder why I haven’t seen it before.
Jesus knew heaven. He’d been there, and understood what it was like.
I think that’s it. Now, of course there’s more to it, but I believe that is the basic answer. Jesus had been in heaven before he came to earth. He had experienced its wonder, splendor, joy, etc. That’s why Philippians 2:5 is such an amazing verse when it talks about how Jesus was in the very nature God (and in heaven with God) but he left the glory of heaven to come to earth. That is a large part of the sacrifice that he made which we seem to often gloss over. He voluntarily came to this fallen earth, knowing his fate. But, he was able to endure because he understood what he was saving us for – and he had that goal of returning to heaven. At times, heaven and the goal of being righteous can seem a bit nebulous or overwhelming to me, maybe that’s why I struggle with sin sometimes.
When I lived in St. Louis I had a friend who was a runner. We were good friends and in order to get to spend more time together she convinced me to train with her to run a 5K. I agreed – although I knew it was no small task. We trained and had fun spending time together, but she constantly had to drag me out to train because I was not self-motivated. Then came the day we ran the race. We lined up at the starting line with 12,000 other people that first year - it was exhilarating. It was hard for me to finish and my time wasn’t exactly world record, but when I crossed that finish line…wow, it was great. I really felt I had accomplished something. The next year I happily signed up to run with her again. This time I understood the prize. I knew the feeling of accomplishment that awaited me at the end. That knowledge of the prize changed my motivation and desire. It was easier for me to train, to push myself and to sacrifice in order to do well in the race. I understood it.
Jesus understood it. He knew what he was fighting for – he knew what heaven was like and desired not only to be back there, but to give us the opportunity to be there as well and I believe that gave him the ability to endure more and push himself harder. I’m not trying to minimize his sacrifice at all, merely understand his ability to be perfect.
The past few weeks I have been struggling with a couple of things. I knew they were wrong – and yet I felt powerless. I had been praying about them for a while, yet honestly, still sinning. I confessed my sin to a friend (James 5:16) and asked her to pray for me and with me. Then I started thinking about Jesus’ understanding of heaven. I have studied more about heaven the past couple of years than I ever have before and I think I am actually aghast for not letting this motivate me more. I have begun praying that God will show me bits of heaven so that I can understand the prize I’m running for. I’m not caught up anywhere or having heavenly dreams, but I believe God is lifting the veil back for me little by little. This week when I was tempted to sin I started thinking about heavenly rewards, reunions with loved ones, walking through a field with Jesus, etc. It’s motivating me more to be pure-hearted.
Did Jesus want to bring God glory? Of course. Did he want to save the human race? Absolutely. He was able to do those things because he knew what was at the end. Jesus understood the prize – he’d experienced it before.
Jesus knew heaven. He’d been there, and understood what it was like.
I think that’s it. Now, of course there’s more to it, but I believe that is the basic answer. Jesus had been in heaven before he came to earth. He had experienced its wonder, splendor, joy, etc. That’s why Philippians 2:5 is such an amazing verse when it talks about how Jesus was in the very nature God (and in heaven with God) but he left the glory of heaven to come to earth. That is a large part of the sacrifice that he made which we seem to often gloss over. He voluntarily came to this fallen earth, knowing his fate. But, he was able to endure because he understood what he was saving us for – and he had that goal of returning to heaven. At times, heaven and the goal of being righteous can seem a bit nebulous or overwhelming to me, maybe that’s why I struggle with sin sometimes.
When I lived in St. Louis I had a friend who was a runner. We were good friends and in order to get to spend more time together she convinced me to train with her to run a 5K. I agreed – although I knew it was no small task. We trained and had fun spending time together, but she constantly had to drag me out to train because I was not self-motivated. Then came the day we ran the race. We lined up at the starting line with 12,000 other people that first year - it was exhilarating. It was hard for me to finish and my time wasn’t exactly world record, but when I crossed that finish line…wow, it was great. I really felt I had accomplished something. The next year I happily signed up to run with her again. This time I understood the prize. I knew the feeling of accomplishment that awaited me at the end. That knowledge of the prize changed my motivation and desire. It was easier for me to train, to push myself and to sacrifice in order to do well in the race. I understood it.
Jesus understood it. He knew what he was fighting for – he knew what heaven was like and desired not only to be back there, but to give us the opportunity to be there as well and I believe that gave him the ability to endure more and push himself harder. I’m not trying to minimize his sacrifice at all, merely understand his ability to be perfect.
The past few weeks I have been struggling with a couple of things. I knew they were wrong – and yet I felt powerless. I had been praying about them for a while, yet honestly, still sinning. I confessed my sin to a friend (James 5:16) and asked her to pray for me and with me. Then I started thinking about Jesus’ understanding of heaven. I have studied more about heaven the past couple of years than I ever have before and I think I am actually aghast for not letting this motivate me more. I have begun praying that God will show me bits of heaven so that I can understand the prize I’m running for. I’m not caught up anywhere or having heavenly dreams, but I believe God is lifting the veil back for me little by little. This week when I was tempted to sin I started thinking about heavenly rewards, reunions with loved ones, walking through a field with Jesus, etc. It’s motivating me more to be pure-hearted.
Did Jesus want to bring God glory? Of course. Did he want to save the human race? Absolutely. He was able to do those things because he knew what was at the end. Jesus understood the prize – he’d experienced it before.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
If Jesus Were Me
It’s a dreary, rainy day so I’ve been relegated to my bedroom and off of my porch. The weather is really a blessing in disguise since I planned to do some badly needed yard work today but the rain has forced me inside. I’ve been going nonstop for awhile now and badly need this chance to relax and do some regrouping.
For the most part I have adjusted to being a single parent. I miss many things about being married, but overall I have a full and happy life and I don’t spend much time wishing my old life back. Wishing doesn’t change anything and it’s more helpful for me to remain in the present. This has been a tough week though. I have been overwhelmingly busy both at work and at home and have felt my patience and self control slipping more and more each day as my exhaustion increased. I want someone to hold me and tell me that I don’t have to do it all… but the reality is that I do have to do it all. My children need clean clothes to wear, food to eat and a clean place to call home as well as someone to give them a hug at the end of their day and make sure they are doing well emotionally, physically and spiritually. And so, I find myself on auto pilot half the time, drinking whatever caffeinated beverage I can get my hands on simply to remain somewhat functional. Last week in the midst of the madness, I read this during one of my morning devotionals:
What if for one day, Jesus were to become you?
It was the first sentence and it really caught my attention. In fact, I read the same chapter two days in a row. I can’t seem to decide…what if Jesus were me? I wonder how he would handle the daily situations that I find myself in. It’s more than wondering WWJD (What Would Jesus Do), the slogan that you see on bracelets and t-shirts alike. I am curious as to what he would do, but it goes deeper. I think God wants more from me than redirecting my actions all day long to align with some slogan. He wants me – my heart, soul, mind and strength to become like his. I want his heart – I long to handle things like Jesus did. I know there were MANY times that he was exhausted and pushed to his emotional limit. I wish so badly that I could see him in action and know how he did it – how he kept pushing himself when he was tired and weary - and yet perfect. Maybe sometimes he just put one foot in front of the other and kept moving. I’m sure that he was able to draw more strength from his intimacy with God than I have been able to.
So here it is, Sunday afternoon, and I’m facing a week that looks not quite as busy as last week, but definitely busier than what I enjoy. My prayer this week is to overcome, not to be overcome. I can’t do that on my own, so I will have to rely on God more and experience more intimacy with him and perhaps in a quiet moment he’ll comfort my heart and tell me I don’t have to do it all. That’s all I know to do.
For the most part I have adjusted to being a single parent. I miss many things about being married, but overall I have a full and happy life and I don’t spend much time wishing my old life back. Wishing doesn’t change anything and it’s more helpful for me to remain in the present. This has been a tough week though. I have been overwhelmingly busy both at work and at home and have felt my patience and self control slipping more and more each day as my exhaustion increased. I want someone to hold me and tell me that I don’t have to do it all… but the reality is that I do have to do it all. My children need clean clothes to wear, food to eat and a clean place to call home as well as someone to give them a hug at the end of their day and make sure they are doing well emotionally, physically and spiritually. And so, I find myself on auto pilot half the time, drinking whatever caffeinated beverage I can get my hands on simply to remain somewhat functional. Last week in the midst of the madness, I read this during one of my morning devotionals:
What if for one day, Jesus were to become you?
It was the first sentence and it really caught my attention. In fact, I read the same chapter two days in a row. I can’t seem to decide…what if Jesus were me? I wonder how he would handle the daily situations that I find myself in. It’s more than wondering WWJD (What Would Jesus Do), the slogan that you see on bracelets and t-shirts alike. I am curious as to what he would do, but it goes deeper. I think God wants more from me than redirecting my actions all day long to align with some slogan. He wants me – my heart, soul, mind and strength to become like his. I want his heart – I long to handle things like Jesus did. I know there were MANY times that he was exhausted and pushed to his emotional limit. I wish so badly that I could see him in action and know how he did it – how he kept pushing himself when he was tired and weary - and yet perfect. Maybe sometimes he just put one foot in front of the other and kept moving. I’m sure that he was able to draw more strength from his intimacy with God than I have been able to.
So here it is, Sunday afternoon, and I’m facing a week that looks not quite as busy as last week, but definitely busier than what I enjoy. My prayer this week is to overcome, not to be overcome. I can’t do that on my own, so I will have to rely on God more and experience more intimacy with him and perhaps in a quiet moment he’ll comfort my heart and tell me I don’t have to do it all. That’s all I know to do.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
The Potter and Me
For those of you who aren’t poetry lovers, I’ve really been putting you to the test lately, haven’t I? I’m sorry. I do write a lot of poetry, but it’s not my intent to turn this into a poetry blog, as I realize that there are more people who are ambivalent toward poetry than those who really love it. But, I’ve spent my evening writing and so that is what I have to show for it.
I’ve been thinking about how Jesus is able to see past the hurt, pain and crud in our hearts and see the character hidden deep down that He created. Take Simon Peter for example. How many times have you heard a sermon about Peter that pointed out his many weaknesses – his impetuousness, his ability to speak before he thought, cowardice, etc., and yet Jesus renamed him Peter “the Rock” (Matthew 16:18). Jesus looked past his character flaws and saw the qualities that would be Peter’s crown and enable him to actually be the one to preach the first gospel sermon, leading the first Gentiles to a relationship with the Lord. He saw what Simon would become and named him accordingly.
I love the scripture Isaiah 64:8, it says, “Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” The following is what came out of my evening of pondering these things:
The Artist
Holds in His hand
A lump of clay
And with His touch
It is transformed
At first only the Artist’s imagination
Can see the potential there
Then the transformation
His hands move and form
Friction
Scraping and pain
As it’s molded
Into its intended nature
A stunning piece
Unique
Its charm unmistakable
To only the Artist at first
One day
Its unique beauty
Evident to all
The people around me day in and day out see more of my sin than I wish they did. They see the insecurities, the selfishness and anxiousness that is so prevalent in my heart. And God sees those things as well – but he also sees what I can become. I am a lump of clay in his hands and he is hoping to shape and form me into a useful and beautiful vessel, evident to all.
I’ve been thinking about how Jesus is able to see past the hurt, pain and crud in our hearts and see the character hidden deep down that He created. Take Simon Peter for example. How many times have you heard a sermon about Peter that pointed out his many weaknesses – his impetuousness, his ability to speak before he thought, cowardice, etc., and yet Jesus renamed him Peter “the Rock” (Matthew 16:18). Jesus looked past his character flaws and saw the qualities that would be Peter’s crown and enable him to actually be the one to preach the first gospel sermon, leading the first Gentiles to a relationship with the Lord. He saw what Simon would become and named him accordingly.
I love the scripture Isaiah 64:8, it says, “Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” The following is what came out of my evening of pondering these things:
The Artist
Holds in His hand
A lump of clay
And with His touch
It is transformed
At first only the Artist’s imagination
Can see the potential there
Then the transformation
His hands move and form
Friction
Scraping and pain
As it’s molded
Into its intended nature
A stunning piece
Unique
Its charm unmistakable
To only the Artist at first
One day
Its unique beauty
Evident to all
The people around me day in and day out see more of my sin than I wish they did. They see the insecurities, the selfishness and anxiousness that is so prevalent in my heart. And God sees those things as well – but he also sees what I can become. I am a lump of clay in his hands and he is hoping to shape and form me into a useful and beautiful vessel, evident to all.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Spiritual Battle
During the past couple of years, I have become more cognizant of the spiritual battle that is taking place around us. I think the more aware of it we are, the more we are attacked. The Bible talks a lot about spiritual warfare and battle. Ephesians 6:10-13 says, “10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” The verse goes on to talk about putting on the full armor of God – truth, righteousness and faith. I love that verse. The spiritual battle is very real.
At times, I have felt like I was under attack. Those times have been very desperate, sometimes circumstantial, and always very difficult. It has been during those times of intense attack, however, that I have come to rely on God more completely. I wrote the following poem at a point when I was feeling particularly attacked.
I am in shock at the intensity of attack
I am surrounded
And in distress
My mortal enemy has studied my weakness
And attacked with passion
I feel helpless
Powerless to stand alone
Against this onslaught
The battlefield is littered with pieces of me
My heart bleeding
Until it feels as though
There should be nothing left of it
To hurt
And yet there is more pain
I extend great effort to stand
Bloodied and beaten
Wondering how to fight this enemy
Who seems to know every crack
Each flaw
Intimately
I have no plans to surrender
Hopeful
That what little strength is left
Is somehow enough
For survival
The encouraging thing is that I did survive – and my faith stronger, and a little more refined, in that process. I am hoping for a peaceful season – less bloodshed in the future. This thought leads me to thinking about what I hope my next blog will be about…an amazing book I read by Randy Alcorn called “Safely Home”. It is a fictional book but is written using actual events that have occurred to persecuted Christians in China. My battles are very real and painful to me, but they are nothing compared to what the persecuted church worldwide is enduring. While you’re waiting for me to find the time to write that, read Safely Home – you won’t regret it.
At times, I have felt like I was under attack. Those times have been very desperate, sometimes circumstantial, and always very difficult. It has been during those times of intense attack, however, that I have come to rely on God more completely. I wrote the following poem at a point when I was feeling particularly attacked.
I am in shock at the intensity of attack
I am surrounded
And in distress
My mortal enemy has studied my weakness
And attacked with passion
I feel helpless
Powerless to stand alone
Against this onslaught
The battlefield is littered with pieces of me
My heart bleeding
Until it feels as though
There should be nothing left of it
To hurt
And yet there is more pain
I extend great effort to stand
Bloodied and beaten
Wondering how to fight this enemy
Who seems to know every crack
Each flaw
Intimately
I have no plans to surrender
Hopeful
That what little strength is left
Is somehow enough
For survival
The encouraging thing is that I did survive – and my faith stronger, and a little more refined, in that process. I am hoping for a peaceful season – less bloodshed in the future. This thought leads me to thinking about what I hope my next blog will be about…an amazing book I read by Randy Alcorn called “Safely Home”. It is a fictional book but is written using actual events that have occurred to persecuted Christians in China. My battles are very real and painful to me, but they are nothing compared to what the persecuted church worldwide is enduring. While you’re waiting for me to find the time to write that, read Safely Home – you won’t regret it.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I'll Meet You There
I wrote a poem for my best friend. She’s my sister-friend – you know, the best of both worlds. We’ve known each other for about 18+ years now and we’ve shared some really good and very bad times together. She’s had a rough time the past year and as she’s tried to navigate her way through some tough life issues. It’s been difficult the past few months as I’ve felt her pull back and construct some boundaries that I wasn’t sure I understood. I tried my best to honor her feelings and yet struggled at times with feeling a bit rejected, misunderstood and even a little angry. Somewhere along the way, however, I realized that if I really loved her as a friend, that I needed to give her whatever space she needed to “order” her life a bit. So I’ve done my best to honor her new boundaries and sort of sit back hoping that our friendship wouldn’t be permanently different, but understanding that it was a possibility that it would be.
Several states separate us, but we got the opportunity last month to spend a day together, and it was so fun! We talked for hours, sang in the car, went for a walk and prayed…it was awesome. She sent me an email afterwards, thanking me for meeting her where she was at. I starting thinking about that….isn’t that what we really long for and need from all of our close friends? I go back to Proverbs 17:17 again, but it does say a friend loves at ALL times. I guess that means when we feel great about changes in our relationship and even when we don’t. I wrote her this…hoping to convey that of course I’d be willing to do whatever…because I love her and sometimes you don’t understand, but you hang in there anyway.
I’ll meet you there
In those places of fear, shame or weakness
Where you hide your heart and pretend
I’ll meet you where
God’s Spirit makes you whole
And the hope of a pure heart seems possible
I’ll meet you in prayer
Approaching the throne together
Hearts laid bare
Hands lifted high
Or face to the ground
Struggling to make sense of it all
I’ll be there
Walking together on life’s journey
The sweet taste of victory
And the bitterness of failure
It doesn’t matter which
I’ll meet you
Walk with you
And be your friend
I’ve learned a couple of important things about relationships along this crazy life journey. The only relationship we NEED is Jesus, every other person we love is simply a blessing and a gift. I know that seems very simplified, but I truly believe that. When I was 19 my best friend at that time died in a car accident. I really thought I was going to have a breakdown because she was the only one I’d ever completely shared my heart with. I didn’t. I just picked up a pen and started writing poetry and reading my Bible more. I had a few friends that I was very close to move away when I lived in St. Louis and I thought it would break my heart. It did for a while, but we’re still friends and now we just communicate differently. My husband stopped confiding in me and started sharing his life with people I didn’t even know, and then ultimately he just left. I remember thinking that I literally wanted to die. Not that I ever considered suicide, don’t get me wrong, because I didn’t. I just thought that death would surely be easier then the hell I felt I was going through. But I’ve survived, and in fact, grown closer to God and the friends around me more than ever. All of that loss along the way has helped me to have a little perspective I guess. I have always been fine after some period of grieving for whatever loss I was experiencing. God is the only relationship who hasn’t left me or changed in some fashion over the years. I wish I’d learned that lesson when I was younger because it could have saved me a lot of grief, and yet, I think the grief is where I learned the lesson. And so of course I’ll meet my friend where she’s at…isn’t that what God has done for me every step of the way?
Several states separate us, but we got the opportunity last month to spend a day together, and it was so fun! We talked for hours, sang in the car, went for a walk and prayed…it was awesome. She sent me an email afterwards, thanking me for meeting her where she was at. I starting thinking about that….isn’t that what we really long for and need from all of our close friends? I go back to Proverbs 17:17 again, but it does say a friend loves at ALL times. I guess that means when we feel great about changes in our relationship and even when we don’t. I wrote her this…hoping to convey that of course I’d be willing to do whatever…because I love her and sometimes you don’t understand, but you hang in there anyway.
I’ll meet you there
In those places of fear, shame or weakness
Where you hide your heart and pretend
I’ll meet you where
God’s Spirit makes you whole
And the hope of a pure heart seems possible
I’ll meet you in prayer
Approaching the throne together
Hearts laid bare
Hands lifted high
Or face to the ground
Struggling to make sense of it all
I’ll be there
Walking together on life’s journey
The sweet taste of victory
And the bitterness of failure
It doesn’t matter which
I’ll meet you
Walk with you
And be your friend
I’ve learned a couple of important things about relationships along this crazy life journey. The only relationship we NEED is Jesus, every other person we love is simply a blessing and a gift. I know that seems very simplified, but I truly believe that. When I was 19 my best friend at that time died in a car accident. I really thought I was going to have a breakdown because she was the only one I’d ever completely shared my heart with. I didn’t. I just picked up a pen and started writing poetry and reading my Bible more. I had a few friends that I was very close to move away when I lived in St. Louis and I thought it would break my heart. It did for a while, but we’re still friends and now we just communicate differently. My husband stopped confiding in me and started sharing his life with people I didn’t even know, and then ultimately he just left. I remember thinking that I literally wanted to die. Not that I ever considered suicide, don’t get me wrong, because I didn’t. I just thought that death would surely be easier then the hell I felt I was going through. But I’ve survived, and in fact, grown closer to God and the friends around me more than ever. All of that loss along the way has helped me to have a little perspective I guess. I have always been fine after some period of grieving for whatever loss I was experiencing. God is the only relationship who hasn’t left me or changed in some fashion over the years. I wish I’d learned that lesson when I was younger because it could have saved me a lot of grief, and yet, I think the grief is where I learned the lesson. And so of course I’ll meet my friend where she’s at…isn’t that what God has done for me every step of the way?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
The End Of Summer
This morning I’m a willing participant in my own version of the book Charlotte’s Web. My neighbors and friends down the hill from me have a little farm right here in the middle of suburbia and the animals are all waking up with me this morning. In fact, they’re getting rowdy down the hill and I’m wondering if Charlotte is spinning her web and they are all standing around having some discussion as I sit up here sipping my tea. I’m actually enjoying their company.
I’m on the porch again. I can’t seem to pry myself out of this old white chair. It’s a beautiful morning – a slight breeze is blowing, not a cloud in the sky and I’m reveling in the last morning of summer. This last week has been a fun one – I even took a day off and spent the afternoon at the pool with my kids and some friends. I used to experience days like that all the time before I had to go back to work, and I know I took that time for granted. I don’t anymore. I am grateful for every second of time to relax and just be… I believe God knew that I needed to somehow find time and a place (a.k.a my front porch) where I could unwind and sort of center myself. Everyone should have a spot – a place that is all their own where they find special comfort and moments to relax and a period of time that is just a bit slower and less structured. Summer is that time for us – our family schedule is so much more manageable and more peaceful.
When I was a stay at home mom, I loved summer with my children, but I did look forward to school starting. Summer was fun for about 7 weeks, and then it became hard to keep the kids entertained and happy and the house clean. That first week of school was like a little taste of heaven. I’d have my quiet time in the morning, go walk with my friend, go to lunch a couple of times, clean the house, run errands and still have a little time to read. Now, I dread the start of school. The alarm is set for 5:15 a.m., the evenings are filled with homework, activities, baths and stuff! It’s overwhelmingly busy!! I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned that I’m not what you’d consider a “Type A” personality, in fact, I definitely fall somewhere much further down the line. I’m not lazy, but I am one of those people that values having a little bit of time every day to myself to be quiet and still. That happens MUCH less during the school year. In fact, my porch may become a weekend longing more than a weekday occurrence.
And so…this morning I am sitting on my porch, listening to the animals causing a raucous down the hill, watching the sun rising, and enjoying that last little bit of quiet that I love. As summer is winding down, my porch will see less of me and I may be rambling a little less often. I hope not, because I’m really enjoying this little chance to throw my heart out to the world.
I’m on the porch again. I can’t seem to pry myself out of this old white chair. It’s a beautiful morning – a slight breeze is blowing, not a cloud in the sky and I’m reveling in the last morning of summer. This last week has been a fun one – I even took a day off and spent the afternoon at the pool with my kids and some friends. I used to experience days like that all the time before I had to go back to work, and I know I took that time for granted. I don’t anymore. I am grateful for every second of time to relax and just be… I believe God knew that I needed to somehow find time and a place (a.k.a my front porch) where I could unwind and sort of center myself. Everyone should have a spot – a place that is all their own where they find special comfort and moments to relax and a period of time that is just a bit slower and less structured. Summer is that time for us – our family schedule is so much more manageable and more peaceful.
When I was a stay at home mom, I loved summer with my children, but I did look forward to school starting. Summer was fun for about 7 weeks, and then it became hard to keep the kids entertained and happy and the house clean. That first week of school was like a little taste of heaven. I’d have my quiet time in the morning, go walk with my friend, go to lunch a couple of times, clean the house, run errands and still have a little time to read. Now, I dread the start of school. The alarm is set for 5:15 a.m., the evenings are filled with homework, activities, baths and stuff! It’s overwhelmingly busy!! I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned that I’m not what you’d consider a “Type A” personality, in fact, I definitely fall somewhere much further down the line. I’m not lazy, but I am one of those people that values having a little bit of time every day to myself to be quiet and still. That happens MUCH less during the school year. In fact, my porch may become a weekend longing more than a weekday occurrence.
And so…this morning I am sitting on my porch, listening to the animals causing a raucous down the hill, watching the sun rising, and enjoying that last little bit of quiet that I love. As summer is winding down, my porch will see less of me and I may be rambling a little less often. I hope not, because I’m really enjoying this little chance to throw my heart out to the world.
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